As soon as I arrived in my new life as an expat mom, this book was recommended by fellow expat moms: “Raising Global Nomads” by Robin Pascoe. The subtitle reads “Parenting Abroad in an On-Demand World”. Robin Pascoe is an expat expert (title of her blog http://www.expatexpert.com/) and has moved to several different countries following her husband’s career.
I was happy to read that “Most kids turn out great”. Most expat parents tell me that children not only survive but they thrive in their expat life. In the book, these children are described as flexible, mature, and geographically aware; skills every person needs in a world becoming more politically polarized as we speak.
One valuable reminder in the book was to give my children time and space to grieve for the life they left behind. This is also described very delicately in the movie Inside Out. It is okay for the children to spend some time online with their friends back home. It is okay for the children not to adapt to their school on day one. It is okay for the children not to like their new life for a while. It is okay for the whole family to miss their old life. It is okay to feel sad (Cue: Everybody hurts by REM).
On the other hand, I took issue with these following points, which were raised frequently in the book: 1. The expat world is no place for a dual career family 2. The expat is usually a first world citizen trying to live in (or suffer through) an outpost location (described in the book as “out there” on page 7). Describing different locations as “out there” is certainly not a “global” point of view if we allow ourselves to fully experience our presence in a new country rather than just surviving it.
We are a dual career family, and it was discouraging to read that children of dual career families are the most susceptible to culture shock. I am lucky to have more flexible hours, but most women in dual career families will not. The book recommends that the mother, described like a 1950s housewife, takes the family through this transition while the working husband does not skip a beat in his new role at his new position. This is a shame. Unfortunately, though, it looks like Pascoe is correct, as shown by the number of stay at home mothers at my children’s school. If companies need their employees to transition well into their expatriate life, they need to recognize that the employee (and his family) needs some time to get settled. Expat women, with their globally enriched experience and multitasking and flexibility skills, can add immensely to the workplace (https://womenintheworkplace.com/). This is only possible with commitment from companies to diversity and to work-life balance for the expatriate employees.
The book is an anectodal personal story rather than a help book and has a very focused and one-sided point of view. The author is drawing from her own experience and does not take advantage of parenting literature. Nevertheless, the expat parenting literature is limited and I am glad to have read this book at the beginning of my sabbatical year.